We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize