I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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