Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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