I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
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and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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