Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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