i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
