i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
