he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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