is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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