Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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