Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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