I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
