OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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