Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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