I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
