Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
