just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We are all done wearing pants today
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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