dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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