I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize