Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
