Plan B is the new Plan A
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
operation have a gay friend backfired
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
