my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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