So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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