my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
