I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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