All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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