Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
