I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
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You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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