By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
