operation have a gay friend backfired
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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