I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize