Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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