my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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