mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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