Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
