come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
