he wants to bone in the snuggie
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
