We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
