I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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