take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
