You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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