I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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