it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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