I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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