Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
