It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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