I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
