Plan B is the new Plan A
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
