Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
