Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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