so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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