dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
