What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
