I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
