I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
