walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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