Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

Awesome. Ask her out.

(815): View more from Illinois

Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.

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(631): View more from New York

peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches

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(757): View more from Virginia

ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet

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(407): View more from Florida

Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.

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(530): View more from California

There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.

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(440): View more from Ohio

All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in

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