Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.

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(443): Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry. http://tfl.nu/7406

Replies (19) Good night (928) Bad night (3290)
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(630): View more from Illinois

My bed smells like naked

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes

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(630): My bed smells like naked (414): Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes http://tfl.nu/anqj

Replies (2) Good night (2612) Bad night (740)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets

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(413): How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets http://tfl.nu/sjge

Replies (17) Good night (5135) Bad night (1802)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already

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(401): hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already http://tfl.nu/dz2h

Replies (7) Good night (2868) Bad night (973)
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(620): View more from Kansas

new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either

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(620): new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either http://tfl.nu/a5gg

Replies (3) Good night (2233) Bad night (927)
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(416): View more from Toronto

He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.

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(416): He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex. http://tfl.nu/exbo

Replies (24) Good night (4355) Bad night (1165)
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(917): View more from New York City

I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.

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(917): I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake. http://tfl.nu/yic9

Replies (24) Good night (1619) Bad night (2886)
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(417): View more from Missouri

so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?

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(417): so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra? http://tfl.nu/rm09

Replies (28) Good night (1709) Bad night (3684)
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(905): View more from Ontario

We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.

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(905): We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila. http://tfl.nu/k7ds

Replies (4) Good night (2085) Bad night (882)
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(858): View more from California

Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.

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(858): Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning. http://tfl.nu/33hl

Replies (4) Good night (1861) Bad night (764)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)

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(715): If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real. (1-715): I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;) http://tfl.nu/oqj0

Replies (2) Good night (1124) Bad night (405)
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(925): View more from California

Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.

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(925): Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days. http://tfl.nu/goog

Replies (4) Good night (502) Bad night (871)
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(323): View more from California

I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..

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(323): I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI.. http://tfl.nu/w8q4

Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (402)
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(585): View more from New York

if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake

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(585): if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake http://tfl.nu/burq

Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (409)
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(713): View more from Texas

This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.

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(713): This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy. http://tfl.nu/xpy1

Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (321)

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