Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(778): View more from British Columbia

i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?

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(778): i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea? http://tfl.nu/q7z7

Replies (44) Good night (3867) Bad night (831)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?

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(734): Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa? http://tfl.nu/jog8

Replies (32) Good night (3469) Bad night (1337)
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(979): View more from Texas

Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.

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(979): Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ikem

Replies (26) Good night (910) Bad night (3818)
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(303): View more from Colorado

And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence

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(303): And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open? (1-303): That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence http://tfl.nu/qwl7

Replies (8) Good night (2520) Bad night (698)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date

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(937): Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date http://tfl.nu/jct3

Replies (44) Good night (6329) Bad night (1205)
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(925): View more from California

These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.

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(925): These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/wa4w

Replies (6) Good night (4841) Bad night (948)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.

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(423): I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/dili

Replies (5) Good night (3815) Bad night (1189)
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(510): View more from California

listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.

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(510): listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'. http://tfl.nu/236r

Replies (22) Good night (3522) Bad night (1090)
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(623): View more from Arizona

You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"

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(623): You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!" http://tfl.nu/z3ws

Replies (10) Good night (4084) Bad night (935)
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(210): View more from Texas

Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.

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(210): Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night. http://tfl.nu/uzh8

Replies (9) Good night (2575) Bad night (850)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things

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(319): Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things http://tfl.nu/stlu

Replies (5) Good night (1231) Bad night (579)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth

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(705): I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth http://tfl.nu/7ynn

Replies (12) Good night (1953) Bad night (722)
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(281): View more from Texas

To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.

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(281): To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life. http://tfl.nu/6vxl

Replies (8) Good night (941) Bad night (534)
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(845): View more from New York

It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.

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(845): It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons. http://tfl.nu/somr

Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (524)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo

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(405): woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo http://tfl.nu/x6fo

Replies (2) Good night (1495) Bad night (333)

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