listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't put those talents on a resume
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
