i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
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I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator